Lots and lots of stupid people grace the hallways of DeVry, Addison. Masses of monkeys, fools and losers race their rice burning honda civics with modified exhaust pipes around the speed bump blemished parking lot. It's this constant whining of crappy cars with modified exhausts that makes me scream in the wee hours. I mostly wish someone, anyone, would tell these stupid assholes that their cars are glorified crapwagons and the addition of that 14 inch aluminum spoiler is the equivalent of putting a bow on a pig. It's still a pig you jackass!
This article is intended to be a compendium of rants. Always angry and never finished.
April 10, 2003
I called today to ask what would be required to get my laptop hooked up to the DeVry network while I'm in class. First, I asked the school operator, "I'm going to be bringing my laptop to class tonight, and I need to know if there is anything special I need to do in order to get it online while I'm in class."
In your best ButtHead voice, "Uhhh...Let me transfer you to Academics."
Why Academics?
Anyway round two with the Academics lackey went like this:
"Hi, I'm bringing my laptop to class tonight and I need to know if there is anything special I need to do to get it hooked up to the network."
Girl on the line, "Well, you just need a phone code."
"A phone cord?", I asked
"Yeah, just bring a phone cord and plug your modem in to one of the jacks in the desk", She replied.
"What would I use a phone cord for? I'm trying to connect to the local area network via the network jack...Wouldn't I need a network cord?"
"Well, I just used a phone cord, and it worked fine" she said.
"Is there like a computer department or someone who knows what they are talking about there?"
"I'm just a (dumbass) business student, let me transfer you to the computer lab."
"Thanks, that would be great.", I said. On one hand I was relieved to be off the phone with this moron, and on the other I was disgusted at the intelligence level of the students/staff at DeVry.
Round three:
"Computer lab this is (not very well pronounced consonant that I think was a B)ryan."
"Hi, I'm bringing my laptop to class tonight and I need to know if there is anything special I need to do to get it hooked up to the network."
"Nope", (B)ryan said in a tone reminiscent of a person who would be more content shoving firecrackers up a cat's butt.
"Well, I know you guys run Novell there and I wanted to make sure I didn't need to install their NetWare client first."
"Nope, just plug in and you're set."
"Do I have to set my nic to DHCP?"
"No, just plug it in.", was his final retort.
I could almost see the cat *** on his fingers as he was placing the receiver back on the hook. He and his Command and Conquer playing lab guy jagoffs probably had a good chuckle at his perception of my stupidity. But, as any person with the demands of a normal sex life knows, there is more to life than spending all your waking moments trying to frag your non-female friends.
Needless to say they were both quite wrong. I needed a network cable and to set my computer up to be a DHCP client.
February 13, 2003
The attendance coordinator dismissed me from my advanced C++ class for "not swiping". That means that every time I step in to the class I have to slide my ID card through the card reader mounted just off the door jamb. And, I have been remiss in my duties.
I am (or, at least, I was) getting one of the highest grades in the class. So, metaphorically, it is more important to herd the cattle rather than educate them.